Journal » Recent Posts
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I just got a new client from work, and for the fourth time i started on the job earlier today. After the first hour of going through the mind numbing job of setting up a youtube clone gaged for the adult audience, specifically the ones with the hentai nitch; I asked myself "What the fuck am I doing!?". The thing that struck me after that thought was that it was pertaining to my working career as a whole. I am basically working for the payday, with no real direction in life. Yeah I have a job, yeah I earn money, more than I need at times, but where does it lead? When I get stressed I buy stuff I don't need to fill the void, only to realize that I blew off my entire month's wages on it. Then the cycle continues until you burn out or you die. I've always wanted a job that I really wanted to do, not because of the money. I want to leave something behind when I die, something to pass to my daughter, not just meager material things. A purpose driven life to be exact, a life that has a positive impact to the world; In hopes that I could contribute to a better society for my daughter and her children to be. Lately I have been lost, trying to find the things I actually believe in so I can pursue them. I'm afraid that if I continue on the current path I am on, I won't achieve success. My definition of this is happiness and contentment, outside the bounds of material and monetary returns. Up to this point, my rant was purely idealism, but what's the point of doing your job when you check your work ethic at the door before starting your shift? Aside from the money is there anything else? You study up to 20 years old or so, so you can work; then you work so you can live on your own, you retire when you're 60... if you're lucky you're still alive and healthy. After which what is there waiting? Wouldn't it be wise to make the best of the journey instead of focusing on the destination? So you have something to look back on and pass on to future generations. At the moment I am really desperate to find what it is I really want to do in life and get started on it. If I stay any longer in the current state of things I might get sucked into the cycle and just be another cog in the machine, only to regret it in my old days... assuming I'll grow old. |
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Third time's the charm! I finally made it into the semi finals of the Philippine Web awards. I guess I was lucky getting into the semi-final round. Never the less it could mean more traffic for my site. I would want to win ofcourse, but my primary goal is to promote the new domain and get a higher google page rank. Anyway I updated the splash image on the index page to promote the web awards as well, as to abide by the rules. The semi-finals are suppose to end on the 15 of October, by then I assume they'll be releasing the finalists. I wonder if I'll get really lucky and win this time around? Let's wait and see ^^ |
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I just got a new graphics card, since the built-in graphics on my Fatal1ty F-I90HD isn't cutting it. This time around I decided to buy an ATI card to make things different. I got an ATI x1950XT 512mb card which was one of the fastest DX9 cards back in 2006 which rivaled the then uber card 7800GTX. Back then this card would've been somewhere north of 20,000PHP; today I got it for 9,470. Well i don't have that much money to blow on a graphics card now a days so I had to sell my old case: the Silverstone SG01 Evolution for 5,000 bucks... Hence my b0x is no longer a b0x. I was originally planning on getting a higher end DX10 graphics card like an 8800GTS or a 2900XT, but after some reading I was really discouraged. First off there is a new revision to DirectX which is DX10.1; the current DX10 cards won't support the new features added to the DX10.1 patch. Aside from this there might be more revisions to DirectX 10 down the line. There is also the new PCI Express 2.0 slot coming out next year, and Nvidia will be releasing it's new G92 generation of cards by the end of the year; which will render the the G80 outdated. Not to mention the price tags of the current DX10 cards, for 14,000 bucks you'd expect something to last you sometime, and get the value for your money. But with the current pace of hardware development, It would be wise to wait and choose what it is you really want or need. This will be my final major upgrade for my b0x for the coming years. I may get a new graphics card sometime late 2008 when Starcraft 2 is released but aside from that and a new affordable chassis, my upgrading days end this coming week. I have decided to pursue other hobbies which are far less volatile and expensive... I hope. On that note I'll be looking for a new chassis within the week and see how things turn out, so until then! |
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Before I start ranting about my work related stress, I would like to start off on a positive note. Here's a photo of Yz sitting on my shoulders. she's just 4 and a half months old but she can sit with a little support which is really cool since I get to play with her more often. She is also aware of her surroundings already and knows how to express what she wants. Even though I am with her on a daily basis, I still get amazed by the rate of growth she undergoes on a daily basis. Having a kid is truly a wonderful experience; it's like growing up all over again. Now on with the show... It's hard to work on something you don't really want to do much less believe in. It is especially more difficult to work under such circumstances under people whom you do not respect in or out of the work place. But life isn't all fun and games where we can get away with what we want. For the most part we're dealt with what we least expect. Personally I would want to get out of the rat race I call the I.T. industry in the Philippines; and look for other means of income. But I don't have that luxury anymore since I have my kid to think of now. The question before me is what do I have planned for myself in the long run? Obviously my current gig is just a temporary solution to a life long problem. I am trying to make the most of a bad situation by saving money from my wages. Yes the money is good, minus the security and comfort of actually liking your job. I would prefer an ample wage doing something stable which I actually believe in, as to working my ass off for a high paying job at the cost of my sanity and values. I'd prefer to enter into cottage industries or similar businesses which are simple and straight forward. They don't pay much but it would be a much more stable source of income compared to what I have going on now. My goals in life are simple, a decent home, eat 3 full meals a day and grow old happy. I can do without the fancy cars, big houses, elaborate vacations and what not. I believe it's who and not what one has in life. Simple as it may seem, it is also idealistic in todays world to want much less acquire such a life. But I am reluctant to give up, I just wish life would throw me a freaking bone; like an idea of sorts. Either way I need to come up with something in the very near future. I have my doubts on the longevity of my current job, aside from that I also want to do something long term, like a food business, or anything to do with commodities. |
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I just made one of the cardinal mistakes in the work place... which is fraternizing with the boss and pissing her off. We were originally friends until she became a big shot and started a company and got me as one of her employees. I had my reservations regarding certain aspects of her life since I am a bit (or was) concerned as well as our other mutual friends; but I chose to keep to myself. It's no secret that she has some issues with her significant other, but it is not my place to talk about it so I don't. It just get under my nerves sometimes, I mean the sheer stupidity of it all is mind numbing. So we were having a friendly banter a few minutes ago, when all of a sudden I spewed out one of my random thoughts in my head... which went like so [13:38] krm: hay pointless pala maging good boy mwahehe I may have made it even worse by posting this article into my blog but personally I don't give a fuck, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. This is were I draw the line between my relationship with her, from this point forth, it'll just be strictly business, I'll just toss out the friendly crap out the door. I should have known better not to fraternize with the superiors especially to those who get pissed off easily. It was a feeble minded attempt towards a friendly gesture on my end. I'll just watch along the sidelines and watch how things unfold like a tele-novela. Frankly, I think the statements made were ambiguous, I don't understand the hostile reaction towards it. I may have implied something, but obviously it was taken very seriously, I guess there's trouble in paradise and I accidentally stumbled upon it. I just hope I still have a job... ^^v |
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The current trend of living is leaving a very bad taste in my mouth. It comes to a point that it sickens me to even inform myself much less concern myself with the current state of things. Isolation nor ignorance isn't doing me any good,since all these none sense is almost everywhere; soon it will even follow you when you take a dump. We all grew up with certain virtues we try to live by, a moral compass in life if you will. Lately I think these good virtues have been in a rapid decline. There's corruption in every nook and cranny of society especially in government, prejudice in society, and ignorance amongst the masses. People have been complaisant, and have succumb to the allure of monetary pleasures. Almost 1 in every household in a working class family has a relative working overseas, and the majority of the working class people here aspire to work in a foreign country. If not, jobs are outsourced in developing countries such as the Philippines where the cost of labor is cheap and getting cheaper due to the competition amongst other developing countries. The majority of the people I know either want to work for a foreigner or are already working for one, may it be in or out of the country. Which is sad because of sticking together as countrymen, we often are brought down by one of ours. It has come to a point where we pull each other down to get ahead in life which is a tragedy happening before our eyes for quite some time now. Soon, our children won't get the quality education they deserve, since most of the decent educators are teaching in different countries, and the current educators here are disgruntled due to issues of wages and benefits or by status quo; hence the lack of effort to say the least in doing their jobs. The same goes for other professions, like health care, infrastructure and governance. Virtues have been replaced by financial or material goals. Instead of contentment people shoot for the moon, and pay no regard on the methods they may use to attain their desires. Personally I would want to be a designer by trade, but there is not much money to be made, since most of the current designers are selling themselves short and driving the income six feet under, and there is also the scourge of plagiarism. I also wanted to be a programmer, again isn't much money there either, for similar reasons to the former. Today the money is in generating discomfort against other people, where one's annoyance is another one's gain. By this I mean spam in all it's forms, there's pornography, and piracy to name a few. They say money easily earned is money easily spent, this may be particularly true to the people I know who work in call centers and in the "outsourcing business" in other words, pornography, sex trade, and what not. The common rationale I hear is that it is their way of venting out their job related stress. Which find to be really silly, you work your ass of to comfort your self because you are stressed out with your work. It's just like throwing a boomerang and it hitting you back in the ass; or those people taking supplement to whiten their skin, I think they forgot that they were genetically fair skinned and that they live in a tropical country were the sun beats down on them most of the times. Not to mention that we are near the equator were the UV rays are most concentrated. ...I just don't get it sometimes. |
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I was kinda depressed and went on a shopping spree! I posted my old processor (E6600) on tipidpc just for kicks, and to my surprise some dude called my mobile and offered to buy it earlier this afternoon. So I decided to sell it to him and throw caution to the wind. I ended up getting a quad core processor (Q6600) and a new heat sink to boot! I got a Zalman CNPS8700 LED at a relatively cheap price; some dude from Dubai bought an extra unit and sold it to me this afternoon as well. I shaved off 1300 bucks on the heatsink, which was not bad at all. I also installed an all copper north bridge heatsink, an Enzotech CNB-R1 I had laying around, for good measure. Last on my list of upgrade for this year or maybe until next year is a new graphics card. At the moment I am using the built in graphics of the Fatal1ty F-I90hd which I think is an ATI x1250 class graphics processor. I'm planning on getting an ATI card, since am just tired of seeing Nvidia hogging most of the market, also the high-end Nvidia cards don't have hardware decoding for video formats which sucks. So am sticking with ATI, I got my eye on the new HD2900pro when it comes out depending on the price, or the old scholl x1950XT overdrive edition from Gecube. |
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I've been thinking about job security and what opportunities may come my way in the future. And as far as I can tell my future is looking grim. Presently, the current trend in the country is outsourcing, from I.T. to call centers to other forms of man power. Since labor is relatively cheap in developing countries, the often marketing point is the prices of the services offered. Since there is no regulation against this employers and also individuals are able to price their services in any way they want which is good... In a perfect world of course. This is especially true in the I.T. industry were the number of people selling them short in order to make a quick buck are increasing day by day. This is were it gets complicated, since the financial incentive is taken away there is little motivation left if not none to produce exceptional results, or inspirational at the very least. This in my opinion perpetually dries up the creative pool which should push this industry or any industry forward toward innovation. We all have monetary concerns, the sad part is most of us can't see passed through the short term benefits. Yes, we may earn some percentage lower of what's being charge by normally, but sooner or later prices will eventually go down in order to be competitive. Up to a point were prices have hit rock bottom and there is nothing left for the end worker. By nothing I mean just enough to get by, nothing more, maybe something less. This is a common truth, most of us work to live, it is a rarity to see people who live to work; people who actually love what they do and push their profession forward and nudges society a bit. Idealistic as it may seem, it would be better if money worked for us instead of us working for money. It should be something that complements life and not the other way around. It may sound like a cliche but it is very factual. |
