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After my b0x getting fried moonday morning, it's back up again. My PSU (Power Supply Unit) got totaled, thankfully it seems no other parts were harmed. I wanna give a big thanks to timmy my friend from way back baguio days for helping me out today. Dude thanks for the talk and company I really appreciate it.

With that said on to other things! Note to self: TASK PSU's SUCK!... don't buy them ever again!

A bomb was dropped on me this passed weekend. I was expecting it but I wasn't prepared to handle it, but considering how things went I think I handled it to the best of my abilities. No matter what the outcome of this new adventure of mine turns out, things won't be the same anymore. It's like a wake-up call for changes, a sudden need for maturity on my part.

I am not happy with what happened, and the way it happened, but there's no turning back anymore. I'll be living with it for the rest of my life. We commit mistakes and we must live with it; the best thing we can do during these times is not making a big mess out of it... that's how I see it.

Despite the flu I have right now am in the process implementing the necessary changes I need to make. I gotta put procrastinating behind and become alot more serious to make it in society. I guess it was about time anyway.

I will get through this and rise to the occassion. I'll be better than my former self; like they say when you're on the bottom there's no other way but up. This will make me into a better person... that i am sure of.

My office mate (AD) gave me a deck of tarot cards on our way home from the office. She said it was suppose to be given not bought; so I accepted the gesture. She even offered to give me a reading which I accepted... yes, my first tarot reading ever!

From what she told me during the reading, I had good cards which generally pointed to love and change. Which was good considering that I am in crisis right... lack of a better term. But based on the cards I should be fine; which I wish were true.

Been really horny the past few days, I mean i really wanna fuck someone right about now but when I get around the thought of getting laid I find it boring. Based on expirience, it's just not as fulfilling as achieving your goals. Unless ofcourse your goal is to get laid. I guess it's just an escape from the real matters in my head, or maybe boredom.

Thank god I aint rich nor good looking, I mean the kind of guys who can get laid easily, if I were; I'd end up with more problems than I have right now. I mean let's face it, sex is a really great escape from reality; it's like when you have a fight with your significant other than all of a sudden you end up having steamy hot sex the whole night; or those one night stands.

Masterbation doesn't help either, which reminds me of a phrase a friend of mine once told me "Masterbation is better than nothing, Sex is better than masterbation, therefore masterbation is better than sex." It make me smile whenever I think about that... food for thought?

I guess I'll just go on a food trip and enjoy life instead of sex; KAMPAI!

Been hearing this phrase quite often this week, upon pondering on the thought for several hours I found it to be comforting; knowing that our lives aren't that complicated after all. You make a decision and never look back, once we do something it's for keeps and there aint no taking it back. Over thinking situations tend to complicate things and make matters worse, so my new strategy in life is to be as simple and concise as I can be.

Sometimes sacrifices have to be made to accomodate more pressing issues, it's only a question of priorities... which do you value more? Simple doesn't necessarily mean easy but atleast it's clear; and you have more time to think about other things rather than focusing on complexities.

Personally I think there is no gray area, it's either a yes or no, a true or false uncertain answers/choices are just avenues for not being true to one's self.

More invisible updates on Project Left i, mainly bug fixes and script enhancements. Maintainance is the price I pay for using too much javascript and CSS. With the constant changes that browsers undergo, so does my work to keep up with standards; which is a learing and fulfilling undertaking. Never a dull moment, there is always a challenge to make something actually work the way you want it to.

Project kislap has died down, another project down the drain. Limitations became the demise of my project. I guess a full flash site aint my cup of tea. I was going for a page flip effect for the entire layout which worked initially; though limitation became apparent early on in development. Bottom line, this kind of layout is best suited for displaying mid sized images. I realized that I can't do all the stuff I want with flash alone, and that I should stick to my own style and pace; so the project wasn't a total failure.

I am gonna continue Project kislap with a new concept. It's my way to say thanks to fedhz for being there for me and putting up with my shit for a very long time. ETA of the project would be the first week of October

Lastly I wanna say thanks to fedhz for helping me get out of my horrid 1 week slump and for helping me out with my sprained leg... again.

Am really depressed and very irritable at the moment, Project Kislap is plagued with limitations and my design isn't coming out. I know what I want to happen and how to do it, but the technical limitations always gets in the way. I think I've been too caught up with the flash vs scripting thing; and lost sight of what is really important.

Right now I'm not having fun, it's like trying to please other people at the cost of my own happiness. At the same time I also want to be acknowledged by my peers. So I'll be delaying Project Kislap until I get my head straight. Designing and Programming first and fore-most should be fun; until I remember that I'm taking a break. I can do without the acknowledge as long as I am content with my work.