Mike Mamaril :: Journal » Recent Posts [Page 15]

I attended this party of my bosses, it was their joint birthday party. I wasn't planning on going but a friend of mine decided to go last minute so i decided to push through. It was a good thing BJ went with me, since I barely knew the people in attendance and I don't have a connection with my officemates who were there either, since I'm home based. I was hoping to talk to a friend/office-mate of mine hoping to patch things up; surprisingly both my bosses forgot to invite her and none of my officemates in attendance didn't know her mobile which kinda bummed me out.

It was kinda dragging at first, if it weren't for the free beer i would've gone home early; but fortunately a few of our friends showed up which I haven't seen in several years. The conversations were entertaining to say the least. It was nice to to know that most of us haven't changed, including some of our bad traits.

Personally I think i said to much last night, especially to my boss/friend. Though it were mere jokes I think I was talking out of my ass for half of the time. I guess i was letting off some steam, which I did at the wrong place and time.

I suck at keeping good relationships; i talk way too much for my own good. That's why this year i wanna be more aware of the relationships i make and already have. I also have to accept the fact that being superficial is part of a social life, and having a social life is a key in succeeding in this society we live in. Though I'd like to think that I'd rather be honest to the people I respect, enough to risk losing the relationship I have with them in exchange for the truth.

I respect the people who treat me accordingly, and tomorrow I'll be meeting one of those people. This is one of the steps I wanna make towards personal growth. If I want a happy life, I should start with being happy and the rest will eventually follow... i guess.

On a personal note, I'd rather have a couple of friends over a bunch of acquaintances; I'd be fortunate to have atleast 3 of them by my side.

Not the hentai anime... it's Friends Family Finances. Since I don't have any constructive people to talk to, I'll just post it here for you antonymous people to read. I guess the thought of knowing someone knows what you're going through makes it a bit better... I mean that's what shrinks do, they just listen, this is similar but it's written and free.

I tried apologizing to a co-worker/friend of mine the other day, for suddenly dropping of the radar so to speak late last year. I knew that the chances of her talking to me again were slim but I just wanna let her know I was sorry; and to my expectations she ignored my messages. I regret I lost her friendship, but at the same time I had to do certain things which were quite personal. So whether or not she understands is beyond me. To sum it up here's an excerpt from a song "Yeah Whatever by Splender"

We don't have to stay friends
Let's pretend to be enemies

Yeah, whatever makes you happy
Yeah, whatever makes it beautiful
Yeah, whatever leaves you satisfied

My girlfriend's giving birth on May, and the expenses are starting to pile up, for vitamins, check-ups, supplements and what not. I told her before that I'd shoulder all the expenses with regards to the kid. But now I find myself irritable, I am trying my best to provide for her pregnancy right now and trying to get ready for my kid, but there are times that I just lose it. Like "what about what I want" which in my situation doesn't apply. Which leads me to my second dilemma, when I'm reminded of how all this began. I don't wanna open a can of worms nor point fingers, all I can say is it takes 2 to tango.

In the recent weeks we started having petty squabbles over finances, which I expected. I guess it's part of the territory, but that's the thing, based on what I've seen growing up I already know where this road ends. Personally I think she'd be a good mother, but I know we are ill-equipped to handle this situation. Though are efforts are valiant I don't see much hope. I don't wanna say that it isn't gonna work, rather; it most probably will.

I have a renewed respect for married couples and parents living together; because this takes a lot of work and patience. I'm only at the beginning and it's already wearing me thin. Yeah the sex is good, there's companionship and all that but what you give in return is just as challenging.

It's hard being self sufficient, I am not the one to talk since I still live under a sponsored roof over my head. It's one thing taking care of yourself, but when you throw a kid into the mix everything goes BOOOOM! ...Not to mention if you have a significant other which is dependent on you. So I ask myself everyday... how the hell do you expect to support yourself and a kid... seriously!?. The pressure is starting to get to me. I haven't finished worrying about getting my own place now I have to worry about diapers, milk, then tuition and all whole 9 yards. Yeah there's my family to help, but they can only give so much and rest is up to me.

I am just repeating history; which is worse since I already knew the consequences and how to avoid them; shame on me. I call it a mistake because I know the things that my kid will go through, and it a'int pretty. Yes it teaches character and valuable lessons but it also makes you jaded and leaves you with scars.

I guess I know how all this is gonna go down, it's like a re-run on HBO which you just have to watch. The thing I hate most about this is people how give their comments as if they have first hand knowledge on the matter; and sometimes forcing their opinions on you... just like people in movie thaters who tell the story while watching, you just wanna shut them up.

Getting old is mandatory, Growing up is optional.

I got myself a Sony Playstation Portable, a post Christmas gift to myself... the second time around. I just got myself a second hand unit online. initially i was planning to buy a brand new one but i got a pretty good deal. The guy selling the PSP originally pegged his price at 15,000 which includes the following stuff

Sony PSP Value Pack (TA-081 mobo)
an additional 512mb Sony Memory Stick Pro Duo
a used PSP travel bag
a spare screen protector (sticker type)
a black silicon case
and 4 original UMD games
1. Tekken Dark Resurrection
2. Initial D: Street Stage
3. Street Fight Alpha 3 MAX
4. Need for Speed: Most Wanted

At first he dropped his price to 14,000, unfortunately it was still too steep for me so i passed the offer. Then my girlfriend tried haggling with the guy and managed to drop his price to 12,000; which I thought was a good deal. So we met and to my surprise the PSP was in good shape and the UMD's were all complete. On a side note the seller was a nice guy as well which laid my doubts to rest.

I had the PSP for about 3 days now, and I am very satisfied with the stuff I got. At first the firmware of the PSP was 2.6. I finally got myself to mod the firmware out of boredom. Despite the risk of making a 10,000 paper weight I upgraded it to a custom firmware 3.03 OE-A. It was kinda tedious since I had to flash it several times to get it to were it is; I went from 2.6 to 2.71 to 1.5 and finally to 3.03 OE-A. I don't really intend to run home brew stuff on it I just wanted to see if I could pull it off.

That is my desk; you can see a photo of my trusted mobile phone, a blue nokia 8310... which isn't mine actually, I just borrowed it. I was opting to buy a new mobile but commonsense suggested to go with the PSP. I used to be a big fan of mobile phones, but I don't see the point anymore. It's like buying a 3MP camera for like 18,000. Not to mention that mobile phones are the primary target of robbers in my part of the world. With my trusted 8310 I can walk the streets while using my mobile without the fear of getting jumped. And even if I do get jumped I'd gladly give my mobile to them which wont be a big loss to me; I can get a replacement for like 1,000 or less.

With that said, I am glad I opted for the PSP, I think I made the right impulsive purchase this time around. Now all I need is to collect some games for my PSP. Hooray!!! a new hobby and a bleed for my saving ^^v

I had an interesting new year, I celebrated with close family relatives like we always do, but this time around we had a much more dynamic conversation compared to previous years. The older generation reminisced their past and told stories of their success and true to life rags to riches stories. I knew that our family was poor but I only had a real idea of how poor we were until last night. I have a new appreciation for the things and amenities I have in my life right now.

I learned a lot in the few hours we talked, mainly focused on financial stability, ethics and personal growth. A lot of things are uncertain 'till now but one thing I am certain of is that I am aware of my flaws and short comings and I can focus on them this year.

Financially speaking; I am expecting a very challenging year; though not as daunting as relationships. I have a hard time building fruitful relationships with people which perhaps, stem from my lack of faith in the innate goodness in people; Cynicism has been a big part of me for too long. My Grandmother/God Parent ask me a while a go, "How do you plan to support yourself and your kid?"; With no stable income and a handicap I answered "I'll try to start up a business". This is my only option if I want to support myself and my kid among other things. Easier said than done, but unfortunately I have no choice in the matter ^^. At the moment I live without any financial burden thanks to my generous financier, but not for long since the old generation is a couple of years from retirement and it is our turn to take over the reigns of our lives.

To sum it up, I had one of the best new year celebrations I could ask for, it was informative, the food was superb and the fireworks were gorgeous. I am looking forward to a fruitful year, with more responsibilities and much more satisfaction. I want to be inspired, and if there's one lesson I learned dearly in 2006 it's that it's my choice to be and no one else's.

Got myself a holiday present this afternoon; after 2 days of canvasing I finally found the cheapest shop selling the drive I wanted. I got my drive at 5000PHP I saved 500 bucks since the going rate for most shops was 5500PHP give or take; so i was able to treat myself to a nice meal on the way home. I got a Seagate 320gb SATA2 drive; initially I wanted a Western Digital drive, as luck may have it I couldn't find the WD3200KS model I wanted so I opted for Seagate which was a better choice. I can finally try out a drive with NCQ and see for myself if there is a noticeable performance difference; If there is I'll be looking into getting another drive to have a RAID setup in the future.

New year is just around the corner, and I have several new year resolutions in mind... doable resolutions this time around; which I am confident I can pull off.

Significantly reduce/stop soft drink intake
get back to working-out and bench my Ideal weight
a six pack wouldn't heart for summer ^^v
save money

I guess that's about it. The surfboard abs is a handful already but with hard work anyone can pull it off. I'm looking forward to a great new year, a rockin' summer and lot os possibilities for myself, my relatives and friends.

Recently I was working on a site which required multiple groups of checkboxes, since it was a site that gathered data through a survey... don't ask what site it is. At first I though of PHP to handle the validation but the code will take way too long and if we need to go back to the page it would be hard to cache the data already passed. Hence my javascript solution; the advantage of this is that we validate the form first before anything is passed to the server, the obvious disadvantage is it wont work if javascript is disabled.

The idea is to cache all the group names into an array and check each group if a value was selected; then do the necessary prompts and what not. so first up is the function to check our array:


 

function inArray(array,elemento){

    for(var i in array){ if(array[i]==elemento) return true;}

    return false;

}

Now the function to check the form, I fire this function with the onsubmit event, and passing the form name to it like so:


 

onsubmit="return validate('form_name_here')"

And the function...


 

function validate(formname) {

    

    var els = document.forms[formname].elements;

    var radios = new Array;

    var i = 0;

    

    for (var x = 0, el; el = els[x]; x++) {

        if ((el.type.toUpperCase() == "RADIO") && (!inArray(radios, el.name))) {

            radios[i] = el.name;

            i++;

            var checked = -1;

            for (var y = 0, radio; radio = eval('document.forms[formname].' + el.name + '[y]'); y++) {

                if (radio.checked) checked = 1;

            }

            

            if (checked == -1) {

                alert("Please answer all questions");                        

                return false;

            }

            

        }

    }

    return true;

}

pick me up from fear and uncertainty
let me drink from a glass that is half full
lead me to a life of diversity
remind me how to dream and be willful

when everything has been said and done
we only have ourselves to depend on;
despite fleeting glimpses of hope are gone
there will always be a new horizon.

mere words amids inaction and frailty,
stem from the lack of courage to believe.
It's alway a choice not uncertainty
to believe in what our mind can perceive.

will you face forward or opt for a ruse,
at the end of the day, what will you choose?

I know everyone if not most of us have those Mondays were everything seems wrong from the moment you open your eyes and you tell your self this is gonna be a fucking long week.... The down side about it is that psychological hold it has on you, it's like that last song complex that just keeps gnawing away at your head.

In efforts to attain some sort of peace of mind I thought of something to do which will motivate me. An acquaintance once told me that money is a good motivator; so that's what I intend to do... get lots of money... or maybe try to. The root of my suffering today stems from the lack of maturity to handle problems which arose from sheer stupidity and hardheadedness. So there's no one I can blame but myself and that sucks ^^

I hope a resolution come my way soon or my holidays will really be an unfortunate experience for yours truly. If not then that just goes to show you how life loves me so much... No matter how hard you try sometimes, you always fall short of your goal.

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