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I've been putting on the red light for quite sometime now, and I must say, the pay is getting better, As I pick up neat little tricks, the more bread I rake in. In the height of my career, some sickness hits you and impairs your ability to strut your stuff and make a living... pardon the metaphor

Well, my eyes have been getting worse again lately, more significantly so, which gives me 'cause for concern. Leave it to fate to have impeccable timing. It's bound to happen I guess, this is just a reality check, making sure I don't forget.

I'm cool with the fact that I'll eventually go blind sooner than later; what pisses me off is that these fucked up things happen to like who live a simple and minding his/her business; while does people who drag society down get to live a physically normal life. People like me either have shit for luck or we just tend to attract these kind of misfortune.

Either way I plan and hope to continue my line of work until I physically can do so, since I have responsibilities to take care. Though the job may pay well, I don't see fulfillment in it anymore, and in mostly everything for that matter.

This post reminds of of a song, Jezebel by Sade. I like the song, it's kinda depressing but factual, more so in our times.

I had enough problems up my ass on my current host, and I had the last straw yesterday. After having numerous problems with the way PHP was compiled on my host I had to settle with hacks to get my scripts to work, some of which were the CAPTCHA script where initial PHP wasn't compiled with support of true type fonts, and there was some issue with a couple of GD functions which didn't work. And now this!!?

I am currently working on a script to get the page rank of a site, after almost 12 hours of labor I have come to the conclusion that it all boils down to my host. I've tested the script on 4 different servers including my machine and it all work just fine all except on the servers hosted by my host philhosting. I thought of asking their tech support but the last couple of times I did that I ended up with a sales pitch to avail of their dedicated hosting instead of a working solution. So the best solution would be to find a new host, I can't exactly complain here since they only charge a minimum fee for their services but I do hope that they provide better service, since I used to be a patron of their service and even recommended them to some of my clients; not to mention availed of numerous hosting packages from them.

I have 3 months left in my contract with them, but I can't wait that long so I'll most probably get a new host in the next week or so and work form there.

I just got the ultrasound printout of my kid today, and i shall soon have a daughter. The doctor couldn't give me a definitive answer on my kid's gender but based on what we saw it's most probably a she. Contrary to the norms I prefer to have a daughter rather than a son; I believe regardless of gender, it is the values you instill in your kid that matters not some name. So yeah; I'm expecting a girl, we'll have another ultrasound in march to make sure of the gender, but I have no doubts that my kid is indeed a girl. Now I can start on choosing a name for my kid, something simple, and short.

Excitement aside the custody of the kid is still a subject of dispute at the moment, I am not thinking of it at the moment but it is sure to pose some problems in the near future. At the moment a lot of relatives have been lecturing me about parenthood, and I'm cool with that, the only thing I hate is people who lecture me without even actual experience on the matter, just hear-say. I want to learn and enjoy parenthood, nobody was born a parent, everyone learns, which is exactly what I plan on doing.

With that said, a lot of people have also been telling me about the perils and disadvantages of being a parent, especially with regards to the financial aspect of things. 1 out of 10 people who talk to me about my kid only say positive things, the lot of them just spew out shit like "you won't have anymore free cash to buy your toys" or "say goodbye to your social life". It is this kind of mentality that kills the moment, figuratively speaking. Instead of enjoying the moment and thinking positive, you end up with this. A touch of reality is a must, but we have that 90% of the time, why not concentrate on positive aspects from time to time... This is the reason I seldom talk about my parenthood to most of my family and peers, I need positive reinforcement not some shitty remark i heard a thousand times over.

Bottom line, I am happy right now, I may not look it but I am; So on that note, i sign off for today.

I opened a new bank account today, my first time to open a Passbook type of savings account. I decided to transfer the small amount of savings I have into it. It's a hassle withdrawing from a passbook account since you have to go to your bank to get the cash which is the main reason I made the move. It'll serve as a deterrent from touching my savings; and also as a log of the money I put in it. I still retain 2 of my ATM accounts, 1 is issued by the company I work at and the other one is just bling for my wallet haha! ^^v.

I think this is a step forward in getting ready for the future, financially speaking. I want to be more responsible when it comes to my finances, and if i want to get my own digs in the near future I gotta learn fast.

I got my office ID a few days back, it ain't much but it serves its purpose. It would've been better if it fitted into a wallet, not that I use one but I just like things to be at just the right size. Management says this is just a temporary ID and that they'll be replacing it soon with a new ATM type of ID. Personally I doubt this, based on how things are run at our company. Not that I'm complaining, I'm contented with what I have for the moment. My mugshot ain't flattering but it's one of the rare shots that I actually smiled in, i don't know but I don't fancy myself getting photographed. The job title could've been a bit better like "Lead Programmer" or something fancy *grins* but I guess it's cool, it is factual after all.

I'm still working for the new client despite my earlier gripes. Though my output wasn't up to my standards as of late and I was working at a sluggish pace. It's hard to work when you're unmotivated. I'm so looking forward to payday tomorrow, it's one of the few things I look forward these passed few months. I have to work harder next week so I can keep working for the client, I need to save more money ^^. On the plus side I was motivated to learn logo design yesterday; I plan to to pickup Adobe Illustrator or some software and see where my creativity can take me; if i have any.

My personal life ain't doing great at the moment so I hope at the very least that my work will pick up and be entertaining at the very least.

I sold my black PSP along with 2 of the UMD that came along with it... why, you ask? Well I wanted a different color, the silver one; and aside from that the buttons weren't as responsive as i thought they'd be; it's expected when purchasing a used unit; add to that the damage on the body of the PSP brought about wear and tear. I got a brand new unit for 12000PHP for the core pack; and frankly speaking I am satisfied with my purchase. I got the unit already flashed with the 3.03OE-B firmware which is good since I don't have to risk bricking my PSP in the process. Before witting this entry, I updated the firmware to the latest build, 3.03OE-C. Feeling confident to do it again since the custom firmware currently installed has a failsafe feature ^^v. Next on my agenda is getting a 2gb memory stick to play ISO/CSO games or in layman's terms, pirated games.

With that aside, I find myself counting the days to payday, and computing my finances and collectibles. I am so unmotivated now, and my it's hard to work without any motivation, and money isn't cutting it anymore. Aside from that I've been really horny the past few days, I like the thought of having wild sex but I can't do that anymore, oh well... gone are the days of fooling around and having fun with no strings attached. The effort I put in into keeping temptation at bay is proportional to its difficulty. I now realize how hard it is, especially when your package ain't cooperating. I just tell myself, it's just an hour of lust, nothing more, nothing less; then I take a bath.

Being all grown up sucks so bad, the only advantage is that you can afford to buy your own toys... reality really bites you hard in the ass :(.

I was offered a new client at the company I work for. At first I was excited at the prospect of earning extra money, and a mew job that went against the norms of what we do in our company... or so I thought. I was given a task to create 3 layouts in 2 days for a site similar to You tube and other sites that offer user-contributed media. After finishing 1 layout I found myself fresh out of new ideas.

I put pride into my work, and I would like to think that my output is consistent and not influenced by anythings else but my desire to finish the job at hand. At the pace they want me to work I wont be able to put as much detail into my work as I would normally do, and I am faced with a question to compromise my output for it. It's a similar dilemma for an artist or craftsman who is faced with the task of mass producing his work. I feel that I'll loose that personal touch I put into my work if I work in a faster pace to keep up with the demand. On the same note I also want to earn extra money.

I'll try to meet the deadline which is in a few hours, but I wont force myself to putout stuff that I am not proud of. I want to preserve the attitude of having pride in my work, since it seems scarce now a days.

I decided to remove my Michelle from her case, now i can't call my computer a box 'cause it ain't a box anymore. The processor fan was making so much noise and I had enough of it's irritating noise. I guess the case was too cramp, I'm only using an Intel 805, and it's already making all that racket! It maybe also caused by my other peripherals, I have a mid-range graphics card, 2 hard drives and 2 optical drives. Now that's it's out of the case, the noise has gone down a bit, but now I have to use a screw driver to power up my computer, and I have to be extra careful not to hit the desk where the mobo is situated. I plan to get a new case once I have decided on whether to upgrade my computer or to shift to a laptop.

On more important things, I got myself a new frame for my glasses. I accidentally sat down on my glasses and I mangled the frame. I've been wanting to change my frame for a while now, now that I had a legitimate reason to do so I went off and myself a Nike Titanium frame. The frame is much lighter than my previous one but a lens is a bit smaller. I had to choose a slight smaller frame to fit my existing lenses. They had to shave off parts of my lenses to make then fit the new frame. It's kinda small and I'm having a hard time getting used to it; Though I feel more comfortable with the new pair. I think it was worth the purchase, it set me back about 6,000 PHP; all I have to do now is to adjust my eyes to the new shape of the frame.

Lastly, I just finished watching the first season of Hells Kitchen which I thought was a really nice reality show. My first pick to win the restaurant actually won! I'm looking forward to the second season of the show. Kudos to the winner, surprisingly enough we share our first name ^^.