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After an entire day of pondering, I have arrived to the conclusion that I have yet to fully accept my fortune in life. I am still uncertain of what to do amidst my failing eyes. I have limited my options growing up to accommodate my shortcomings, but there are still a few things I refuse to give up. I still want to continue the work I am doing now and compete with my peers in the same field. I want to earn my wages and eventually have my own place and provide for my child like most people do. To me, a sightless life projects a very limiting and cumbersome existence; where I will be forced to be dependent on others, more so than normal people are.

People with handicaps often have to work several times harder to achieve similar results than normal people, which builds character. There are some who take on the challenge and succeed, and there are some who are eaten by their own frailty and weak resolve. I am faced with such a choice now...

I feel really depressed now. I spent the entire day yesterday just laying in bed pondering. I know what needs to be done. The question is whether I'll be strong enough to see my decisions through. I feel depressed mainly because I refuse to give the luxuries I have as a sighted person.

One of my biggest thoughts at the moment is acquiring my own home, a place I can call "my house". And I am very concerned that if I go blind before seeing my goal through, I wont be able to achieve it.

Never the less, change is constant, and it would be a futile effort for me to resist it. I guess making the best of it is the best option I have at the moment. I just have to try and swallow my pride and accept my fortunes. And I guess my first step would be looking for jobs for visually impaired people such as myself.