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Just entered week 2 of being a full time dad. We went to the pediatrician this morning to have her routine checkup and have her BCG (Bacille Calmette Guérin) shot. After which we were prescribed her multi-vitamins. So before going back to base, we swung by the local drug store to stock on supplies, diapers, cotton balls, vitamins and such.

Needless to say, there was a lot of expenses for one day. I can manage the expenditures at the moment, but I am wondering if I can still pull it off if I get my own place. I am barely making any headway with juggling the baby's expenditures, savings and personal necessities... all that and I'm still enjoying free board and lodging, food and basic commodities. On my current wage I don't expect to attain the things I need in time.

Which brings me to another thought; how in the world do low income families manage to survive with the current cost of living? I, for one, is barely making it and I only have one kid; some has several more, surviving on the current minimum wages... talk about skills!

As much as I wanna ask help from my relatives, I'd rather not. I wanna get used to this lifestyle as quickly as possible. Also, I don't expect some people to help me out anyway. It would be best this way, so in the long run they won't have anything to say about the matter.

Most of the people around me said that parenting would be more of a chore than anything else. But I find it the total opposite. I feel parents have more to gain in this experience. I, for one, am becoming a better person; I'm forced to become a better man to serve as a role model for my kid. I am now aware of my faults and I actually do something about them. A child could be a very motivating force in one's life, very much so that only people who raise children can actually tell how it feels. It's doing wonders in my personal growth. Unfortunately I couldn't say the same about the current relationships I keep with a few peers and select family members. At the moment, I am just going through the motions, so to say. Maybe it's still a work in progress... or some things are better left alone.

My sex life has been stagnant to none existent the past few months due to the pregnancy. Now that my kid is here, there is still no change. I am trying my best to be patient and understanding, but we, humans have our needs as well. As I ponder on my libido (whispering: *me so horny*), I think back 9 months and realize the events that lead up to this, and came to the conclusion that abstinence is the best way to go.

I am happy I have a kid. It's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I couldn't say the same about the manner of it happening. I won't dive into the cumbersome details. I just refuse to risk making the same mistake twice.

Fool me once, shame on you;
fool me twice, shame on me.

Will I be able to suppress my urges? I feel confident I can. It's just like quiting smoking. There are better alternatives. And on this note, I shall end this entry and start my new lifestyle.